Ask Emma

Q: This is that dreadful time of year when I have to go home for the holidays and face my family. I am in my mid-thirties, I have a great husband and two daughters, and I want them to see a good example of keeping family traditions alive. But every holiday when we meet with my parents and siblings, old conflicts and disagreements keep coming up, and we always end up hardly talking to each other. A whole year would go by with just an occasional phone call or a birthday card, and then Mom would call again and invite us for the holidays, and remind me that this is a family tradition and I shouldn't ruin it. I already have this nagging feeling in my stomach that I don't want to go, but what can I tell my daughters?
A: Why don't you ask your daughters what they would like to do for the holidays, and take them on a day trip, or invite their friends for a sleepover and have an enjoyable family celebration for a change? This way, you can actually enjoy your holiday and start a new family tradition of looking forward to spending time with those you really care for. Love is not an obligation, and if family gatherings bring nothing but pain, stop participating in them.

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