Ask Emma

Question: I have a boyfriend of three years who is not in a hurry to marry me. Before him, I have dated another guy for six years. With that guy, when I realized that our relationship was going nowhere, I left him for good. It was not easy. From the moment I decided to do so to the actual break-up, I spent more than a year agonizing over my decision and going on again off again with him. Even after that, the actuall split was painful and I woudn't want to go through something like that once more. Unfortunately, I see the situation repeating itself with my current boyfriend. I am almost 30, ready to marry and all, and he is not even close to settling down. I am about to call it quits, but if I find another one like him and continue dating for years without getting married, how long it’ll take me to start a family?
Answer: You seem to be attracted to men who are not eager to commit. Incidentally or not, you haven't expressed any interest in any of your boyfriends other than getting married and starting a family. If that's your only goal, direct your search toward the “marrying material--” those men who are clear about their desire to settle down. If you truly love your current boyfriend, then maybe being with him is more important than getting married right now. If he loves you, too, he will eventually take your desire to start a family into consideration.