Ask Emma

Q: I have been a widow for more than 10 years. A year ago I met a man who I like very much. He is kind, gentle, and though he never said “I love you,” his actions speak louder than words. Recently, he moved into my house. He has his own home, but I didn’t want to give up my place. Everything between us is good, except for one thing. I work hard and I live for travel. When I come back from a trip, I have to start planning on another one, otherwise I feel miserable. He works hard, too, but all he needs for vacation is to stay at home and watch TV. I am a curious George, never satisfied with what I have here, always looking for new things to do and new places to go, and he is a simple man, never bothered by his monotonous way of life. I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t stay at home and be happy! Any solutions to my problem?
A: I think, the virtues of your man are a continuation of his shortcomings (or the other way around). Being a simple man, as you describe him, perhaps, makes him kind and gentle as opposed to controlling and obtrusive. If the man is good enough for you to welcome him under your roof, what such a short period of time as annual vacation can change? Somehow you’ve managed to travel on your own or with some companion(s) before you have met the guy. Why don’t you continue doing just that? I know, it would be nicer to travel together with a man who loves you, but wouldn’t you rather let him do as he pleases while you can pursue your own interest? He’ll be happy to see you come back, and each of you will get what you expect from your vacation. Don’t forget to bring the simple man a nice souvenir.