Ask Emma

Question: I have a Valentine’s Day question for you. What to do if it’s not fun anymore? I think I am getting sick and tired of my husband of so many years. He is a good provider and a good man, but I don’t feel anything anymore. Sorry to say, my love for him is gone. I don’t know how it happened. When he is not around, I feel fine. I think of him in positive terms, but when he’s in the house, I find myself trying to run some errands or go for a walk. I dread our bedroom. I always find excuses not to sleep with him. Good that he is so tired from work most of the time he does not care much for sex. I can’t help but feeling bored out of my mind, and unhappy with him. Is there a cure?
Answer: Your lack of interest in your husband is not unusual after many years of an uneventful marriage. Of course, you understand that there are hundreds of women out there who would trade places with you, but that does not help you appreciate him any more. To fight the marital blues you should take on the task of planning entertaining events for both of you, especially since, as I understand, money is not a problem. There must be something you enjoy doing together. Try to view him as a companion, not a burden, and engage him in some fun activities. He will be tired from entertainment, not from work, which all of a sudden might seem promising. It surely will take your marriage to a better place than it is right now. Plan a trip, a picnic, a visit with friends, or a show for every weekend. Excitement and extended communication might bring back the pleasure you are lacking in your mundane twosome. Initiate it, insist on it, and be pleasant, friendly, and flirty with him as I hope you used to while dating him before you got married. See what happens. And yeah, he doesn’t care much for sex? And where were you all this time? Get a black garter belt, and a pair of fishnets, like, right now. Happy Valentine’s!