Ask Emma

Question: What kind of a gift can you give to a friend who is not your boyfriend, but who gives you Valentine’s Day gifts every year anyway? I feel so embarrassed each time he presents me with a beautiful glass or ceramic piece, a decorative silk pillow or a blossoming house plant (the guy has a good taste). I never know what to say or give to reciprocate and end up feeling like an ingrate. I like him, but not as much as I would a potential boyfriend. What should I do?
Answer: You forgot to mention if you are being involved with anybody else, or you always spend Valentine’s Day with this friend of yours who you do not consider to be your Valentine. You might have given him hope by not being clear about your own feelings. The kind of gifts he gives you hints at his plans for shared household with you one day or at the fact that he is more interested in interior decorating than in you – or any other female for that matter. While you continue to accept his gifts, please don’t forget to say Thank You. There is really not much more you can say, but it’s amazing how often people forget this common courtesy. In exchange, you might consider giving him a gift that would reflect his interests – a book on art, or a subscription to a home decorating magazine. You can also offer your friendly support if he finally decides to come out. If you are spending this Valentine’s Day together again, in absence of a more significant gift bring a nice bottle of late harvest moscato or a jar of fancy jam. It’s the thought that counts (as clichéd as it sounds).