Ask Emma

Question: My neighbor is a stay at home mom with a disabled child. She is a sweet woman and I enjoy talking to her from time to time, but she comes to my place whenever I’m back from work “just to chat a little,” and it can go on for hours on end. Sometimes, she almost drags me into her house if I happen to be outside and tells me all about her problems while I’m sitting on my hands thinking of all the things I could be doing instead. I understand she needs to socialize, especially when her husband is working out of town and comes home only on weekends. But I can’t be miserable all week just to accommodate her need for communication, can I?
Answer: Your neighbor’s situation, although tough and deserving compassion, is not the one that should make you suffer. Take your life into your own hands and tell your sweet neighbor that you have some work to do at home and can’t visit with her or invite her over. If that does not help, plan to see a movie, spend time at the library, or just have a drink at a bar after work. Something prevents me from advising you to visit your friends on week nights, but you can do that if you remember not to abuse their kindness and not to waste their precious free time with mindless chats.