Ask Emma

Question: What would you say to a person who constantly asks uncomfortable questions and makes stupid comments? There is a person in our office who never shuts up about other people’s affairs. Out of more than a dozen people who work here, everybody has been subjected to his lame jokes at one time or another. I am getting sick and tired of the guy, and everybody feels he is out of line, but people don’t dare say it to his face. I don’t want to be the bad guy and take all the blame upon myself by attacking him straight on, but I want to take care of myself. What should I do? Answer: If the jokes and comments you refer to are discriminatory, insulting or otherwise politically incorrect, file a formal complaint with your HR department and with your boss. If they are just stupid and uncomfortable, avoid any personal contact with the guy, and ignore it, ignore it, ignore it. If it’s any consolation, there are very few offices in this world that wouldn’t be abrasive and damaging to a normal human psyche, one way or another. Those people, who are lucky to work for a good boss, maintain office friendships, and/or productive collaboration with co-workers are few and far between. If you possess at least one of these work world treasures, rejoice, and never mind the jerk. If your office life is unbearable for other reasons, then run. Toxic work environments rarely change for the better.