Ask Emma

Question: My girlfriend and I had our engagement party last spring, and we planned to get married next summer. Now, her career plans changed after she graduated from a business school. She is about to leave for her new job abroad. She told me that her career goes first, and she is not sure if she’ll be back by the next summer to marry me. She says she still loves me, but she cannot miss on this opportunity to build her future. In all this time since last spring, we never really planned anything for the wedding. I was expecting her to be more proactive, but she seemed very busy with her studies all the time. We dated, met with our friends, and everything seemed normal, besides the fact that our future wedding was never on the table. Now, with her leaving for who knows how long, I doubt she ever really planned to marry me. Why would she accept the ring, then, and what should I do now? Call it quits?Answer: If you are asking me to confirm what you already know, than yes, call it quits, she’s not going to marry you. I assume, you already went through the possibility of moving to her new job place together, and it didn’t work out… It would be hard to keep a long-distance marriage even with a very willing person. Your girlfriend is not interested in marrying you anymore, or she never has been. Maybe, being engaged was all she really wanted for whatever reason. Maybe, she just wants to keep you at hand in case nothing better will come her way in the near future. If you are fine with that, you might want to continue patiently waiting, but if you are not up to seeing if she would discard you when her dream-boy comes along, just let her go.