Ask Emma

Q: I brought my boyfriend home to meet my family, but it turned out badly. Nobody liked him, especially my dad. He made rude comments about my boyfriend’s piercings, and about his dyed hair, and what not. He is five years younger than myself, and is still in school, and that, too, became areason for stupid questions from my dad and my sis. I am a mature working adult, and I don’t need to expose myself to this. All I wanted was to be nice and introduce a person who I love to my parents. They stopped short of laughing in my face. I haven’t spoken with them since. I think, if they don’t apologize, I won’t call. How could they do that?
A: The way you describe your boyfriend, I would be hard pressed to blame your family for not accepting him right away. However, civilized people are obliged to behave properly, and never make rude comments about their guests. While you are justly appalled at your family’s reaction, you never mentioned how your young boyfriend took the situation. Was he even aware of what was going on? Maybe, by dyeing his hair and piercing his skin in visible places he is striving for attention and pleased with getting it? Or maybe, only you perceived your father’s rudeness? Before you break your family ties, ask your boyfriend what he thinks about your visit, and if he does not find it objectionable, forgive your family and forget it. By the way, are you sure he is the one for you? I detect some insecurity in what you are telling me about the person you love. You could be ripe for a boyfriend who, similar to yourself, can also be characterized as a mature working adult.