Ask Emma

Question: I am a successful businesswoman. My work is my life, I have good friends, and I am perfectly fine being single. Actually, I am divorced, so I know “what I am missing on.” I don’t know why all my friends are trying to set me up with their brothers, cousins and uncles. Most of the time they turn out to be regular losers. After each failed attempt to start dating again, I feel nothing but frustration, and not because the man was not what I expected, but because I wasted a precious free evening (on someone totally unworthy). Some people think I am a snob and “full of myself,” but this is not true. I am who I am, and it is not my fault that I am better than most men I meet, and I refuse to settle for just anybody. What should I do to persuade my well-meaning friends and coworkers that I am not pretending to be happy as it is, but am enjoying my independence and financial freedom?
Answer: Before you can make everyone around you believe you are happy as it is, try to figure out what is the key word in your complain, “set up” or “losers?” Should one of your potential dates be a good-looking successful businessman, would you turn him down? Maybe, your friends get this vibe from you that you are primed for dating, and are trying to help (their relatives as well as you). You must be a good catch if they continue trying despite your rejection of their candidates. When you get really tired of their attempts to set you up, stop accepting invitations to check out another “loser.” As long as you are coming to see who’s out there this time, your friends will continue to set you up.