Ask Emma

Question: Very soon, I will move out of state for the college of my dreams. My boyfriend is entering college too, but locally. We started dating last year, and our feelings for each other are still strong, but I am sure they won’t stay the same after we part for month. I tried to tell him that we should break up peacefully by the end of summer and not get angry with each other, and he agreed, but he looked hurt. Now he tries to avoid me and he tells our friends that he doesn’t care where I am going and what I am planning to do. This is not true, I know he cares, and I would like to stay friends with him. How can I make him understand this? I think I still love him, even if it’s not going anywhere in the future.
Answer: What an interesting cold-blooded person you are. You are telling the boy who loves you that such a normal thing as college education out of state must end your relationship, and you are surprised he’s not jumping with joy. What would you say should one of you go to war? The history is full of great examples of love that endured wars, diseases, disasters and other major events which separated people and scattered them all over the world, while they still maintained their feelings for each other. You better honestly admit to yourself that the guy is not the one of your dreams, move on, and let him be. Don’t try to make him understand your friendship right now. He needs to heal first.