Ask Emma

Question: I want to know what can I do to help my mom and dad. I am leaving for college soon, and they seem very unhappy with it and with everything else. My parents often fight over small things. Since I am the only child, I’m always in the middle. Each of them tries to have me on his or her side. I tried to talk to my mom and to my dad separately, and they agree with me that fighting is not good, but then it happens again. I feel that as soon as I leave, they will divorce or something. I don’t want them to get divorced; I want to have a family to come home to. Is there anything I can do?
Answer: Some couples fight all their lives, and never get divorced. Others divorce as soon as their children are off to college or leave a family home for other reasons. I’m afraid it’s beyond your control to keep your parents together if they are not so inclined. You don’t want to postpone your college to safeguard your parents against a potential divorce, and I’m sure they don’t want you to skip college. All you can do is learn to live your own life separately from them, and be prepared to accept your new family situation should it ever happen. Each of your parents will remain devoted to you no matter what, or so I hope. Try to tell them both together what you told me. Your compassion and the fact you care about them might help, although habitual fighting might never go away. Enjoy your college and be strong.