Ask Emma

Question: My husband and I have a company of friends with whom we spend most of our free time together, and go on vacation. I like it, but my husband constantly complains and wants us to separate from the group. He says he can’t stand our bad organization and loud conversations any more. He also hates always running late because of some people in the group who make everybody wait for them. I think it’s all part of the deal, and I am ready to tolerate these nuisances for the joy of being together, but he is getting more irritable every time. How can I change his attitude?
Answer: You obviously are not very concerned with your husband’s well being if all you want is to change his attitude. Not everybody is a party animal, and for some people spending all their free time in a crowd might be daunting and even damaging. Your husband might feel tired and overwhelmed at work, so seeing more people on weekends could be too much for him. Or maybe he simply enjoys quiet time and detests crowds. Whatever’s his reason, there is nothing wrong with his attitude. Why don’t you try spending a weekend with your husband alone, and see if it makes him feel better. A vacation for two can be a real treat. If you always have your way, why not do as he wants and leave your noisy friends behind for once? If you are not able to spend a weekend with your husband alone to his and your own satisfaction, than there is a bigger problem in your relationship you’ll have to face sooner or later.